Poem of Pain

I love this sting,
as I draw red ink,
to write on a cloud,
my cries- silently loud...

This deafening sound,
of my heart's pound,
when it itself does tear,
I love to hear...

I tear myself,
I bleed myself..
I cherish the pain;
Yeah!! I'm insane...



You've seen my smile,
my laughter juvenile..
you've seen it all,
but not my fall...

To recall, I don't dare,
those memories- a nightmare..
Those days bygone,
those days alone...

It was hell,
those nights and days..
I was tortured
in a thousand ways...

The wound still hurts;
like hell it hurts..
on all my days,
even the brightest of days...

To forget them,
I tried in vain..
They just came back,
time and again...




Like the rain,
that hides tears..
Like the rage,
that hides fears...

I too found,
my cover;
my pain to hide-
the perfect cover...

I wrote my pain,
in blood and tears..
I wrote it all;
my pain and fears...

I love this sting,
as I draw red ink,
to write on a cloud,
my cries- silently loud...


-joker-

Poem of Pain : the birth

I cry in pain,
on this deserted plain..
My cries unheard,
my vision blurred...

My tears red,
mates with my blood
and delivers, word by word,
my cries ever unheard...

And thus is born,
out of a heart torn,
the words of the slain-
a poem of pain...

-joker-

freedom

For her, days are not good.
She was captured in her childhood.
She was put in a cage,
but, could u call it a cage??..
No.. It was prison.
She spend her life in that prison,
for more than two whole years.
As for her, hours seemed like years.
One day a boy of young age,
by chance opened her cage.
She took the chance and flew away.
She flew till she was far away.
She could breath the air of freedom.
She flew with the joy of freedom.
She flew over mountains,
she flew over plains.
She was flying over a forest,
when atlast she decided to rest.
She sat on tree,
feeling that she was free.
Suddenly, there was a thunderous sound,
she let out a cry and fell to the ground.
She cried of pain, with a bullet in her breast..
She tried to fly but came to a rest.
She took a deep breath,
the last deep breath.
Her soul leaves her body,
which is really bloody..
There she gains the freedom as a whole,
the ultimate freedom for her soul..
The freedom which can never be lost.
It is the boon from the angel of death..

-joker-

nb:- this poem was written when I was something in between 12 and 15 years of age.

leave me not...

I ask you tonight,
leave me not alone,.

Stay by me dear,
till the break of dawn..


I'm lost & scared,
like a trapped young fawn,

my feeling unwritten,
nor ever drawn..


By the trecherous winds,
my shelter blown..

Except for you,
I'm all alone..


I can't my dear,
without you go on..

I ask you tonight,
leave me not alone..


-joker-

outburst

The howling wind on my face,
strong and wet, with water chill..
The roaring sea, thrashing and wild..
On a seashore rock, I stood still...

Nature there, doing what I couldn't,
an extension I felt... A part of me..
Or have I turned, inside out,
my heart out there and the sea in me?..

The wind wailing, my heart's cry..
My desires suppressed, frustrations hidden,
anger, pain and all unexpressed,
gushing out, all of a sudden...

The sea splashing, wetting my face,
with water salty, my unshed tears..
The drizzle cold, cleansing my soul,
washing off, my untold fears...

My heart to me, nature held bare,
yet on that rock, I stood still..
I wanted to, but, couldn't connect..
I tried and failed, my heart to spill...

The sun was blocked, as if joy denied,
just dark clouds, there I saw,
gloomy and rumbling, with thunderous roars..
How so evident, the anger raw!!..

And in between, those flashes of rage,
at all in sight and nothing at all..
Lashing out, like a blind man's whip,
pity those, on whom it fall...

Then on struck, at my feet..
A flash, and then, I was airborne..
I felt very light, even within,
so calm., so pure.. As if reborn...

The wind carried me, in his arms,
and placed gently, on the now calm sea..
She covered me, with watery sheets
and in her bossom, I felt free...

And there I lay, cuddled up to her,
with burdens nil, my heart at ease..
Nature thus, granted my wish,
and there at last, I was at peace...

-joker-

Hawa ke jhoke sula rahi he,
Sapno ki duniya bula rahi he..
Neend aa rahi he phir bhi,
Yaad teri hame rula rahi he...

-joker-

Sharab to humne pee lee he bahut,.
Gum ka bahana bana lee he bahut,.
Bhulana chaha tha un yaadon ko magar,
nashe me bhi thadpati he bahut...

-joker-

Yaad ati he wo har pal hansi mazak ki..
Yaad hi reh gaye wo sab,
hamne esi kya gunaah ki...

-joker-

Oh God!! I pray to you,
as the day starts anew..
Give me back, even for a while,
give me back, my long lost smile...


-joker-

silence

A lush green park,
in the evening light,
surrounded by hills,
priding their might..
The sky behind,
with it's reddish glow,
with fluffy clouds,
in a silent flow..
The singing birds,
heading home-
little black prints,
on the reddish dome..

To this sight so rare,
I paid no heed,.
No!.. I'm not blind,
or a different breed..
I was just lost,
in a rarer sight..
It was beauty,
at it's height..
Those black pearls,
in a background white,
vibrant and dancing,
in the evening light..
I saw myself,
floating in them..
My reflection,
like that in a gem..

And in those eyes,
I saw it all..
Her joy and pain,
rise and fall..
Her secrets all,
with nothing to spare,
her heart to me,
she held bare..
For a long time,
I was trapped in them,
until I could,
no more see them..

Then we stood,
ready to go..
We headed home,
our steps too slow..
As I lay,
on that night,
staring at the ceiling,
devoid of light..
I thought of the day,
and it dawned on me..
Sitting in the park,
for hours three,
not for once,
did I say a word,
nor from her,
was anythin heard...

I called her up,
in regret basked..
"how was the day?"
I simply asked..
"It was the best.."
she started to say..
"Of all my days,
the best was today..
And thanks to you,
my sweatheart,
for telling me all,
for baring your heart.."

-joker-

MY TEARS

In the darkest of nights,
I've wept alone,
both at present,
and past bygone..
Never in fear,
or regret,
or memories sour,
to forget..
But still those tears,
I of ten shed..
The fire inside,
with tears I fed..

"He ain't a man,
he who cries.."
says the world,
the liar Lies..
A true man is,
I believe,
who after death,
does again live..
Who after a cry
wipes his tears..
Who to cry
holds no fears..
Who wipes his tears
and other's too..
And thus I'm one,
I say to you..

-joker-

i have registered as a volunteer in Anna Hazare's movement at www.indiaagainstcorruption.org
I have my limits but i'll do my best. 'coz I believe that if every Indian does his part, no matter how small, the dream of a corruption free India can surely be achieved.

THE INDIAN

I was born an Indian,
and shall live an Indian..
Just like any civilian,
I'm proud to be Indian..

Every day, I do pray,
and to God, I just say..
"make me rich, make me great,
no matter what, the other's fate.."

Neat and clean, my lawn I keep,
and my neighbour's, with garbage I heap..
Just like any civilian,
I'm proud to be Indian..

I earn in thousands and even lakhs,
to pay for ration, money lacks..
A mansion I build, with marbles fine,
but still I am, Below Poverty Line..

To earn more and show very less,
I have learned, without a mess..
Just like any civilian,
I'm proud to be Indian..

I pay no tax, and I don't care,
but in all office, I give their share..
It is a crime, I agree,
but only when, others see..

You call it corruption, I call it gift,
to do my work, smooth and swift..
Just like any civilian,
I'm proud to be Indian..

And when men like, Hazare emerge,
with the supporting crowd, I too merge..
Sms, email, update and post,
and in a few days, the spirit is lost..

I praise them here and curse them there,
'coz in this game, all is fair..
Just like any civilian,
I'm proud to be Indian...

-joker-

INDIAN BOND

The Indian culture, i must say,
is the best, whatever may...
I got a taste, of it's depth,
it's soul, it's very breath..

A girl, a stranger otherwise,
a nobody, then to my eyes..
Is now my sis, just like that,
nothing divine, nor noble act...

just a bracelet threaded,
and sweet, with love flooded,
tied,with a smile..
The bondage, Indian style...

Alas, I never knew,
until this experience new..
That in India, the kings,
are with the heart, who thinks..

And thus now, I've learned,
another lesson well earned..
This is no silly chatter,
blood ain't always thicker than water..

she

To describe a girl other than you,
to praise another I never knew..
But dear oh dear! Don't take me wrong,
that little face deserves a song..
Fair was she, with a golden hue,
like the sun's first ray on the morning dew..
Not just beautiful, but beauty was she,
always and forever, smiling she seemed to be..
A silver line on the golden skin,
her anklets thin, made all heads spin...

{ sory.. But couldn't complete this one.. It was an instantaneous burst of emotion.. The moment she left my sight I lost the flow.. To complete this, I've tried many a times but failed always.. I believe it's possible only if I see her again..}

-joker-

Jaana he ki duniya bereham he,
diya jo isne itne gam he..
Phir bhi bharosa kiya is pe,
jab kaha ki mera dard bahut kam he...

-joker-

The Joker

Like a joker,
who laughs not for himself..
Who laughs in pain,
to see others happy..

I laughed at fate,
tears brimming in my eyes..
With each blow I got,
I laughed harder still..

I laughed in darkness,
to hide my tears..
I laughed out loud,
my breaking heart ever unheard..

All laughed with me,
oblivious to my torments..
And when at last,
I stop laughing..
"lucky man.." they'll say,
"he died happy..."

-joker-

Bichadne ka wajah doori nahi hoti,
dosti na nibhaye esi majboori nahi hoti..
Yaad na aye tum mujhe,
mera koi din ese poori nahi hoti...

-joker-

traffic light

Dusk and dawn,
real or drawn,
seems the same,
except the name..
The sky turns red,
at the horizon ahead,
the sun red and bright,
like the traffic light..

Is it so,
that the reddish glow,
twice a day,
has something to say,
that god in his way,
has wisdom to convey..
It seems to me,
and it may as well be..

At dawn the call,
to one and all,
from the sky red,
to get out of bed..
Your slumber to stop,
your head to pop,
your dreams to end,
to strech and bend..
To start a day new,
to do your tasks few,
to get out there,
and do your share..

At dusk again,
the sun does gain,
that reddish hue,
for minutes few..
It seems to say,
here ends your day,
go home and rest,
you've done your best..
Take off your shoulders,
those heavy boulders..
Sans mask and hood,
rejoice what was good,
and if the day was bad,
let heal those wounds sad..
Stop all, the sun does say,
stop now and end this day...

Thus glows the traffic light,
big, round, red and bright..
At dusk and dawn, everyday,
and god's words, it does convey...

-joker-

DEVIL'S BOON

I saw her tears,
that gave me fears..
I saw her smile,
my thoughts ran a mile..
Whatever be,
that her face shows me,
I try to find,
the reason behind..
Good or bad,
jolly or sad,
we wreck or sow,
we ask, why so??..
I often wonder,
beyond wonder,
why should I,
behind reasons fly?..
Deep inside,
the fact I hide,
that I do know,
why we are so..

The innate evil,
the boon of devil,
the seed unknown,
in Adam was sown..
It blossomed fast,
and behold!! At last,
was born curiosity,
that slaughtered divinity..

The seed then spread,
from blood to blood,
from father to son,
and in me came one..
I know it's there,
like a devil's snare,
gripping me harder,
when I move farther..

The world to see,
from reasons free,
I've tried in vain,
time and again,
the devil's boon,
doesn't end by noon..
I know this too,
that I can't sue..
But still I believe,
a day I shall live,
and on that day,
whatever may,
the world I shall see,
from reasons free..

Then I shall smile,
just by your smile,
and cry for your tears,
without reasons or fears..

Peace shall be mine,
and my heart divine...

-Joker-

THE THREE WOMEN OF MY LIFE

Succesful men, I've heard,
has a woman, with a helping hand..
But this man here, I now admit,
without three, can't even stand...

And as always, my mother comes first,
without her, there wouldn't be me..
Loving and caring, strong and demanding,
the very right mix, as a mother should be...

"to thee I owe, this very life,
at thy very feet, my heaven I see..
To tell you this, I've tried and failed,
alas! My love, you may never see...

You gave me all, and i returned nil,
guilty I am, and shall ever be..
Still the past, I wish to undo,
and as u wish, I want to be..."

The next a woman, I wouldn't call,
'coz always to me, a kid she'll be..
Too mature, beyond her age,
but just a kid, she's always to me...

From the time I remember, she's been there,
as a friend, a sister and a guide..
She listens to me, in joy and pain,
from her never, I shall anything hide...

To speak of her, in paper and ink..
to fill the sea, with pebble and sand..
To measure the love, in her heart..
Impossible tasks, for a human hand...

Many a times, when I'm safe,
after an attack, of troubles sinister..
I have wondered, beyond wonder,
how men manage, without a sister...

And now the last, but not the least,
I present, the love of my life..
Calm and quite, and beautiful too,
she with her smile, lighted up my life...

She brought with her, to my life,
joy and smile, and all things good..
In sun and rain, and darkest of nights,
in flood and famine, by me she stood...

"dear oh dear!, I speak to you,
you stood by me, and I shall by you..
And this my dear, I pledge to you,
you stood by me, and I shall by you..."

There you go, my confession,
before you all, bare I stand..
This man here, I now admit,
without these three, can't even stand...

-joker-

is mohobbat, is pyar ke hum gulam he..
Kanta bhi de agar haske, lagta he gulab he...

-joker-

RAHEEM (my first story)

Raheem is happy because he is lucky or so his mother, Fathima, says. He doesn't know what she means but according to her he's lucky because he's alive. He way have lost a leg but he's still alive and that's all that matters to her. She had lost 5 of her children and her husband to the war. So a crippled child was a very good bargain.
They live on the outskirts of a village (I'll not mention the name or that may start another war). Fathima kept her child away from all the other children or any other human being.
Raheem remembers nothing of the bomb that fell on his home three years back when he was just five.
Fathima keeps telling her child that it is normal for children to have only one leg and the other wil grow when he grows up. "one day when you wake up you will also have two legs. Every night pray to god that your legs grow fast.." she says to him.
And every night he prays " oh god.! I know that my leg won't grow but please don't let my mother know.. Do me a favor god.. Don't make othe children like me. Save them or kill them but don't make them like me.."
Raheem is happy because his mother says so..

-joker-

Karna tha bahut kuch hame magar,
zindagi bita diya soch soch me..
Pata nahi kya socha tha mene,
ro raha hu me ab yahi soch ke...

-joker-

bhari mehfil me ae mere dost,
khate he hum is jaam ki kasam..
Chodenge na kabhi tera saath,
na thodenge ye kasam,..

-joker-

Hasi ki wajah na doondo,
na lo gam ka sahara..
Is kadar haso gam me bhi,
ane se dare aasu bi dubara...

-joker-

Apology

How I came close to you, I don't know,
How I earned your trust, I remember not..
Yet in the race called life, we ran together.
Either the beginning or the end, I remember not...

A man of principles, a man of dreams,
A man one could trust, I knew you thus..
Troubled and hurt, though you hid them all,
And in the darkest of nights, you cried alone...

I saw you succumb, to defeated dreams,
And swore to myself, to wipe your tears..
To forget the dreams broken, to forget the past,
to start dreams new, I tried to teach you...

And you did so, giving me hope.
You wiped out your past and began afresh..
I walked with you, prodding you on..
And one great day, you told me your dream...

I swore to god and I swore to you,
that I shall make you dream come true..
I walked with you, as a friend should do,
I gave you hope, when you felt too low...

Never did I know, never did I dream,
never did I ever dare to think..
That I shall be the one, to make you cry..
That a day shall come, I dared not think...

Now when I know, it's all too late..
I dread to look, at my own hands,
that holds the axe, to cut your head..
It has to fall and it has to be me...

It is our fate and I hate that word,
but it has to be and it shall be..
There's nothing I can do, but say this much,
I'm sorry my friend, for now and ever...

I made you live, in dreams impossible,
I made you hope, things you should never have..
And when you most needed me,
I pulled the trigger, that crushed your dreams...

I apologise my friend, not for the final blow,
but making you incapable, to stand it alone..
I apologise my friend, not for the fall,
but for taking you up, the steepest of hills...

-joker-

chand miti aur suraj aya,
andheri galiyo me roshni aya..
Sapna toota aur hosh aya,
par teri yadon ko bhool na paya..

-joker-

tera husn ka jawab nahi,
tumhe chahne wale kam nahi..
Pehli nazar me pyar kare tumse,
aisa ashiq sirf ek hum nahi...

-joker-

RAINY DAY

Many a people,
I've heard them say,
that good things happen,
on a sunny day...

But sitting here,
on this rainy day..
It ain't always so,
I would surely say...

My sleep was broken,
by my nokia tune..
And all around me,
were sleeping dunes...

My screen showed Imran,
and I cursed out loud..
I looked out the window,
and saw the black cloud...

Reluctantly at first,
towards the field I marched..
The ground was grassy,
all muddy and patched...

The coin was tossed,
and god stood by us..
We opted to bat,
without much fuss...

The inning started,
with Gowtham and Imran..
From then on my dear,
the score just ran..

The opening was great,
they put up a good score..
Then Imran went down,
but not the score...

Ranjith sir took the bat,
and the score further ahead..
Gouthi came down,
when we were far ahead...

Then came saxena,
and took his stand..
The pair stood there,
and made a score grand...

We ended the innings,
on a cool ninety five..
We took to the field,
inspired and live...

We broke down on them,
really quick and hard..
They tumbled beneath us,
like a pack of card...

They fell to our blow,
with just fifty five..
We shouted and cheered,
like a buzzing hive...

Sitting here now,
I will surely say..
That good things happen,
even on a rainy day...

-joker-

The water is deep, too deep for a man..
The distance is huge, too huge for a man...
But once the goal, is set in mind,
It will never be, too far for a man...

-joker-

The Wrongers

There was once a thief,
whom the world admired...
None could stop him,
though the best was hired..

He looted the rich,
to feed the poor..
And in all their hearts,
was a hero for sure...

There was once a man,
and many more like him,
who stood against,
the law and it's whim...

They fought and many died,
neither for fame nor a dime...
Beloved they were to the common man,
each in his land and his own time...

Many in their time,
were born and died..
But in all good hearts,
their death was denied...

What made them great,
many a time i ask...
They did no magic,
nor everest task...

But still they live,
heroes in our heart...
'coz they all followed,
the will of their heart...

I'll tell you why,
and this ain't no treason..
They did the wrong,
for the right reason...

There you have it,
their act and reason..
They did the wrong,
for the right reason...

What then my friend,
is wrong and right??..
What then is right,
when for wrong we fight??..

If I had my say,
there's no wrong or right...
It's all too relative,
too relative to be right...

If right ever, there shall be,
then the reason, it has to be..
For the deed, is relative,
and the reason, won't ever be...

And so my friend, hear my heart,
it speaks to all, you and me..
Do the wrong, if ever need be,
but for the right, it has to be.,..

-joker-

ENOUGH

They struck and I fell.
I got up, bleeding but fine..
They struck again and again I fell,
I got up, 'coz the will was mine...

They'll strike again, but I won't fall,
'coz now for once, I've had enough..
I'll strike now, before I'm struck,
hear me all, this is no bluff...

It's my turn now, to move ahead,
I want to win and win I shall...
All in my path, now beware,
I shall strike and all shall fall....

-joker-

chand pal ki intezar me,
zindagi guzar gayi..
Diye jalaye the jiske naam ke,
use wohi buja gayi...

-joker-

Be it the palace or the slum,
be it the tiger that may come..
I shall not falter nor ever fall,
I shall live my life and rule them all..

-joker-

deewana hu me chand taron ka,
afsana hu me khilthi gulabon ka...
Yeh sab sajaya teri chehre pe,
shukr guzar hu me tho us khuda ka...

-joker-

hawa ke jhoke sula rahi he,
sapno ki duniya bula rahi he...
Neend aa rahi he phir bhi,
yaad teri hame rula rahi he...

-joker-

the world will hate us,
the world will curse us..
But deep inside they just envy us..
For all they aspired and failed was to be us.....

-joker-

vidaparayunnu njan vedhana illathe,
ormakal vazhum nadinodu..
Alpamee yathra ennariyunnu njan enkilum,
marakkanam ormakal urakkathilenna pol...

-joker-

Bhoole use jiski mehsoos na ho..
Bhoole use jiski yaad na aye...
Aap to woh haseen phool he,
jiski mehak mere jane ke baad bhi na jaye...

-joker-

tand-e-barish ke bin badal kya he...
Dard-e-intezar ke bin mohobbat kya he...

-joker-

TEARS

Bang and then it started..
Flash and bang one after the other...
A wind blew, trees danced,
and thus came the shower...

I ran out in joy, arms held out,
to catch every drop, to hug the wind...
But I saw the cloud dark and sad,
the thunder seemed angry,so was the wind...

I wondered then, as i wonder now,
could it be that the cloud was crying??..
That the cherished drops, were nothing but tears..
That the cloud, in despair was dying??...

Then came the question, the million dollar one,
is the cloud a he or is she a she??..
'coz a he like this, shall never cry...
For for a drop of tear, disgraced be he...

To flaunt thy tears in grace,
to wail out in despair so,
to soak others in thy own tears,
to reap from tears, only a woman can sow...

Thus stood I, with answers none,
but not now, where I made the start...
Questions are many but answer just one..
Answer this one if you are so smart...

You answer one and i answer the rest,
it ain't too hard, just a single word...
Is the cloud a he, or is she a she?.
If you say he, then tears ain't the word....

-joker-

Bang and then it started..
Flash and bang one after the other...
A wind blew, trees danced,
and thus came the shower...

I ran out in joy, arms held out,
to catch every drop, to hug the wind...
But I saw the cloud dark and sad,
the thunder seemed angry,so was the wind...

I wondered then, as i wonder now,
could it be that the cloud was crying??..
That the cherished drops, were nothing but tears..
That the cloud, in despair was dying??...

Then came the question, the million dollar one,
is the cloud a he or is she a she??..
'coz a he like this, shall never cry...
For for a drop of tear, disgraced be he...

To flaunt thy tears in grace,
to wail out in despair so,
to soak others in thy own tears,
to reap from tears, only a woman can sow...

Thus stood I, with answers none,
but not now, where I made the start...
Questions are many but answer just one..
Answer this one if you are so smart...

You answer one and i answer the rest,
it ain't too hard, just a single word...
Is the cloud a he, or is she a she?.
If you say he, then tears ain't the word....

-joker-

TO YOU

To the heart, that beats in me,
to the soul, that's part of me,
to the girl, who made me me,
to you my dear, or just to me...

You are mine, whatever be...
And very soon, the world shall see,
that our love, was meant to be...
It has to.. And it shall be...

-joker-

TO DO OR NOT TO DO,
TO BE OR NOT TO BE..
IS ALL THAT DEFINES,
WHAT A MAN SHALL BE...
SO DECIDE MY FRIEND,
WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT...
AND THEN NO MATTER WHAT,
JUST STAND THERE AND FIGHT...

-joker-

MISSING YOU

I long for you, my dear lady,
like no man has, for a living soul...
I long for you, night and day,
'coz only you can make me whole..

Ever seen a moth, lost in the dark,
with so short a life, only hours few?..
It longs for light, the faintest glow,
and thus my dear, I long for you...

A child was lost, once in a crowd,
like a fawn alone, in a jungle new...
He longs the most, for a guiding hand,
and thus my dear, I long for you...

The seeds in a garden, on a rainy day,
have opened up, with sapplings new...
They long for the sun, just to bloom,
and thus my dear, I long for you...

A drowning man, in the ocean's depths,
fearing that, his end is due...
He longs for air, the blessed breath,
and thus my dear, I long for you...

The dying river, flowing down,
from hills covered, in mist and dew...
It longs for rain, to live again,
and thus my dear, I long for you...

The farmer deprived, of his very land,
with nothing to eat, let alone sue...
He longs for justice, his only hope,
and thus my dear, I long for you...

The lonely orphan, in the hostile world,
lonely for sure and frightened too...
He longs for a friend, one atleast,
and thus my dear, I long for you...

I long for you, my dear lady,
like no man has, for a living soul...
I long for you, night and day,
'coz only you, can make me whole...

-joker-

nomad

A nomad am I in this desert race,
treading on into oblivion...
And in my dreams i see my home,
the oasis green, MY HEAVEN ON EARTH....

-joker-